Itelaenin

She lay naked in the dark watching the reflection of the neon blue numbers of the alarm clock reflect upon the ceiling. She put her hands behind her head and listened to the deep breathing of the man lying next to her. She had met him a few weeks ago, a friend of a friend sort of thing as it went, and while you couldn’t call them aquaintences anymore, they were barely starting a new friendship. She sighed quietly in thought. The night had brought lust and passion for the carnal pleasures of man and they both, without much struggle, gave into it willingly.
He had showered her with compliments, telling her how much he was attracted to her. She had heard all this before from many lips, many times and didn’t care much anymore whether or not the words were ever true. She almost laughed at the thought that she wasn’t even past her prime and she no longer believed in love, not the romantic kind anyway. Life was short and full of heartache, so why not have fun while it lasted?
He had told her he wasn’t sure they should be doing anything since he was leaving in a month, that he didn’t want to leave her with feelings of regret and disappointment. She smiled secretly in the dark, there was no regret. She was also going off to school in the fall, leaving all of this behind her. She could start somewhere fresh and new, a clean slate. It was what she wanted. Around here, people only ever knew her as the ‘good girl’ and couldn’t believe she could be anything else. They tried protecting her from guys ‘like him,’ saying it was for her own good.
What the hell did they know? They didn’t know her and had never seen the wild, daring side of her. To them, she was a dependent little girl with no thought of her own, no will with which to guide herself by. This was her secret to keep. No one would know what had aspired here tonight in this basement room. There had been no love-making this night, it had nothing to do with love. And she liked it that way. It was easy to separate sex from love, because when you put the two together they could be deadly.
She wondered for a quick moment what she would do if she got pregnant, the thought haunted her for a few moments then passed from her mind. She told herself she would cross that bridge when it came. He was a nice enough guy, but she already knew she didn’t want a commited relationship with him, perhaps even anyone for that matter. She had been hurt before when she was younger, by an adult who shouldn’t be drawn to the attentions of a five-year-old child. It had given her nightmares and repressed memories that she wanted nothing to do with. It had only added to the fact that she didn’t want emotions involved this time around. She had never met a nice guy in her life, at least not one that was attracted to her sexually.
She turned onto her side, trying to get the wood from between the wall and the bed out of the crick in her back.

- side note, this is not finished but up for reading and comments anyhow

sorry its been awhile guys, ill try and update more often now

Well, anyhow, sorry I haven't written in a while you two. I've been incredibly busy. I can't wait till my dad gets me my computer for christmas, then all I have to do is bring it to a wireless internet site to talk, like the library (again...growlss) or starbuks or somethin. Nothing much has been going on lately. I FINALLY thank god, got all my financial aid through and done with for the year. Then I get to do it all over again in january when I apply for the fall. WHHOO HOO! So excited...not! But at least its done with and now I just have to sit and stew while the thing go through legislation or wherever the hell they send it to. Hopefully by Monday or Tuesday of next week I'll know, cuz I have to get crackin on my housing still.

Sorry if I'm bitchy, I've had a horrible past two days, and I'm telling you, Ikasu and Aya, if you're reading this, I am THIS close to calling it quits and live with one of you. Ikasu maybe I will come to stay with you if you take that job in St. Louis, it'll only be two hours from my school then. YIPPEE! And you better come visit me A LOT or I'll have to take the pink pick-ax of doom to you or something.

Anyhow, Aya, I'll probably talk to you tonight. I'm sorry this message is a little short. My tire blew off last night, not while I was driving though, thankfully, so I have to walk home from work today. Love you all. Ikasu, give me a call sometime, I almost forget the sound of your voice. Love to all.

Hikaru

This day sucks! I won't get too much into it since I pretty much spelled it out in a reply to Ia-sensei. But Jim and I had a huge fight this morning and lets just say I'm waiting for him to slash my tires or something along the lines to that effect. He threatened me a number of times, what can I say? My family is pathetic! So if I find out I don't have the money to go to college, maybe I'll see if I can rent a room from Ia's 'rents and go to school with her or at Morraine Valley. I don't know anymore. Gah! I was so mad I did a cleaning binge on my mom's kitchen. It's spotless. Talk about a waste of energy! Hehe.

Anyway, I should call the school soon to see how my finiancial aid is. Oh yeah, ikasu, I applied for my classes. I'm taking English, Speech, Psych, Voice and Movement(for theatre), and Stage Craft this semester. Againg, Ia Gomen gomen gomen nasai. I feel so bad that I'm leaving you behind. I don't want to damn it! I'm so happy with our new friendship lately! There has got to be a way to make this work!

Anyway, Ikasu, I need your thoughts on Dell, what should I get? My dad is ordering me one (don't know when though) so yeah, any input would be nice. I guess that's it except please come to the Halloween party at Nell's Ia! I would soooooo Love to see you, and so would she apparently. Anyway tata for now. Love and peace all.
Hikaru

Take the Role-Playing Stereotype quiz.

It was a little goofy, I have to admit but cute nonetheless. I'm an earth mage! Somehow it describes me perfectly...don't you hate it when that happens?

Anyway, ikasu, do you know if your sister does livejournal, then I could tell her I would keep her updated when I leave in the spring. By the way, pray that I get a good amount of money from my pell grant, because the state won't be giving me anything until next year, otherwise, I don't know how in all that is holy am I going to pay for everything at college. Well, better go, going to unique in a little while (half off day! WHEEE!!!) after I apply for my housing. Wish me luck, all.